Image by jarvisphoto6 on Flickr

The great beyond… This was something I thought about periodically as a young child, and almost every day and night since I was 10. On my 10th birthday, my grandmother had died; we had been very close and somehow death seemed so eminent after that… every night I went to sleep I might never wake up (which hasn’t changed ).

My parents weren’t extremely religious, but we sometimes went to church. And they insisted that after death, we went to heaven and became angels. I was quite skeptical of this, but I did have an innate feeling that there was something more… and I yearned to know the truth.

Around the age of 12 or 13, I began having spontaneous experiences, several times per week, that I could not explain. I would often wake up in bed to find myself paralyzed. At the same time, I would sense or see evil presences nearby, sometimes even feeling hands upon my neck, trying to strangle me. I would cry out as loud as I could for help, but to no avail: my parents said they never heard a thing. In other experiences I would get up from this paralyzed state, leave my room, and go to tell my parents about it… but en route, I’d suddenly be back in bed, paralyzed…

Through some internet searching, I learned that this was related to out-of-body experiences, in particular, astral travel. I looked more deeply into the topic as I found it fascinating – it seemed to be all that I was looking for: an experience of life beyond this world. Eventually, someone gave me some exercises to try, but my results were poor, many experiences were still scary, and I gave up on it…

But one glorious day in high school, a classmate gave a presentation on his personal accounts of OBEs and the spark within, driving me to uncover the truth, took on mammoth proportions. I searched hard for several weeks online, until I found a free online course in astral travel and dreams. The course content was written by the mystical teacher Belzebuub.

The course lasted for 9 weeks (before I followed up with more courses), and I cannot tell you how amazing and helpful it was. In such a short time, I learned all about astral projection, how to protect myself from the negative influences that had been bothering me, how to lucid dream, what dreams meant, and so much more. Most importantly, I had several life-changing experiences in another dimension, outside of my physical body.

Thanks to this course by Belzebuub, I no longer need to “believe” that we can exist outside of our body… I can stand upon my own experience.

I can’t express in words how much the experience means to me; so many blindly believe religions and talk about life beyond this world, and so many atheists are content to believe that the material world is everything… but neither group has genuine knowledge or experience. All I can say is that experience is priceless.

Image by Zach Dischner on Flickr

In the entries to come, I may share some experiences that have proven to me the objective reality of OBEs (some believe OBEs are just a hallucination). I’d also like to share other meaningful spiritual experiences I’ve had (through Belzebuub’s courses), not just pertaining to other dimensions…

photo by: shinez

For a while now, horrific attacks have been carried out by a group of hateful individuals against the contemporary mystic and spiritual teacher Belzebuub. These individuals have also attacked groups of individuals who, by their own free will, have chosen to apply Belzebuub’s teachings in their lives.

I realize many reading this may not know anything about this, or may skim this over and not care… but I urge you to reflect upon what is happening…

• Whether you have any interest in spirituality or not, I have no doubts you would agree that it is up to every individual to do what they wish in life, and if someone is inclined to spiritual things then it is their right to practice, just as it the right of anyone else to have other interests…

• And you would likely agree that harassment, slanderous attacks and lies, and persecution of an individual or group is something criminal…

My objective with these entries is very simple: I wish to express my personal stance that the attacks underway are unacceptable (to raise awareness), and to shed light on the value of Belzebuub’s teachings (which I’ll share through the amazing impacts they have had upon my life to date: from out-of-body experiences, experiences with psychic faculties, through to finding more happiness in life).

Stay tuned for part 2, where I’ll share some experiences…

Over a series of nights, as my bedtime astral projection practice, I recited the “Our Father,” concentrating intently upon the words and their meaning. Each night, my dreams were getting clearer, and I found myself becoming lucid in my dreams, sometimes a couple of times per night. All very short experiences, but encouraging nonetheless.

Then, just a few nights ago, I also became self-aware in my dreams. I cleared myself from all the subconscious imagery and immediately asked my Being for a teaching about the defect I wanted to overcome…

I was taken away from my dream location and shown the symbolic development of this state.

Photo by netzanette on Flickr

Then, I found myself in a field and I was given the chance to confront and defeat the defect. It’s hard to describe it in words, but this confrontation was also quite symbolic: the way the inner state was personified, my responses, and the actions I took.

I woke up in bed straightaway, significantly more enlightened in terms of the steps I need to take.

Esoteric teachings can be so profound, and as I saw through all my struggles, it can sometimes take a lot of effort and sacrifice to earn this sort of knowledge.

I needed to make a booking for a meeting room. The night before I went to make the booking I had a dream that the venue was already taken. In the dream, I was actually waiting in line at the venue behind a person who  took the space.

Upon waking, I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to make the booking. But I went to the venue anyway and went to reception. No one was ahead of me. I inquired about the availability and to my disappointment (because I thought the dream was real), the receptionist confirmed the space was free. I took the booking and was on my way.

Later that day, I was sort of shrugging the whole thing off, when I got a phone call. It was the lady who made the booking for us. She called to apologize, because in fact the space was already booked and she didn’t know it at the time. So the room was booked after all!

I was actually quite happy with this result. Although I needed to find another venue, my dream had given me insight into the future.

It’s interesting how many events first unfold in the higher dimensions (like the astral, where we dream) before materializing here.

I’ve been practicing this technique for several years now as a tool to overcome negativity and find more peace within. It has been an interesting journey and I’ve seen how self-observation really has an infinite depth to it; there’s always more that I can learn.

Photo courtesy of ZeePack on Flickr

It seems through a great help, I recently had a breakthrough where I could apply this technique with an unbelievable strength and much inner progress was made. This level of practice didn’t last for more than about a week, but I wanted to share the experience so that hopefully someone who reads this can learn a little more about observation, and also so I can reflect more on the experience myself.

It’s natural. Self-observation isn’t something artificial or weird. It can (and should be) a natural part of life. When I was most successful with it, looking within my psyche felt as normal as taking a breath of air – it was just part of me.

It’s all about the details. Throughout my day, I could see all of my inner defects in detail – as if they were under a magnifying glass. The smallest irritations, the slightest worries, or even little daydreams – I could see them all. And I could address them in the moment to live a more peaceful and clear life. I could see everything I needed to overcome in every moment. Life was so simple – every moment brought me just what I needed.

Sacrifice is needed. Not only did I need to overcome pain, but also pleasure. As soon as I caught myself identifying with a fantasy – maybe thinking highly of myself – or anything of the sort, the inner clarity vanished and I felt weaker. I had to fight both pleasure and pain to sustain peace.

Photo courtesy of swamibu on Flickr

Inner change is its own reward. The harder I worked, the stronger and happier I felt. Life was magical because I was able to use each moment as a learning opportunity. Whether I was sleep deprived and feeling ill or whether I was hanging out with friends, I was learning.

Much strength and peace to you all!

It had been a hectic day for me and along my travels I’d been somewhere with a very catchy tune…

I guess through all the events of the day, with all the emotions and thoughts that had come up within, my energies had become weaker and I was more susceptible to a song sticking in my head. I didn’t notice it too much during the day, but by the end of the day I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

As I was brushing my teeth and preparing to sleep it played incessantly. I felt tired. I needed to sleep, and I just wanted to be free of that song.

Finally I lay down to sleep, and really having nothing else to do, I focused all my attention upon the mystical death. I kept asking and praying for Divine assistance to be free. I continued my prayers as my body began to fall asleep.

In this half-asleep state, the song took on a very real quality: it was as though it was being played on a radio, full blast behind my pillow. I could really hear it – it wasn’t just “in my mind” so to speak… It was outside of me, but still a part of me…

I focused more intently on the prayer. As I prayed, the singing and music got quieter. But this thought fought for control, trying to raise its volume. As it did so, I prayed even more intently and the voice and music became quieter still. The more I prayed, the quieter and quieter and quieter the song became… and then it was gone.

Really gone.

A blissful quietude came upon me.

This thought had died and I was free!

For a few years now, I’ve been applying techniques to study my psyche…

Statue of the Three Fates

On small and large timescales I can see the same inner states repeat. In a particular day or week, due to various circumstances that I face I could see more of this or that inner state: maybe stress or frustration when there’s a lot of work; maybe depression and negativity when I haven’t achieved what I wanted, etc.

But even over the course of years I can see states that repeat in similar circumstances. What’s more is that these are states that I don’t want to repeat. It’s like living life in a cage…

Time is  going to pass regardless of what I do. But in the times I’ve managed to address a personal obstacle and work hard to overcome it, I’ve always felt that I had “enough time” – and that I accomplished something that goes beyond this life. A sense of freedom from time.

But when I continue in the same old states, same old mechanical actions, without the effort to change I feel that I’ve wasted time. Not necessarily in the normal sense of wasting time… but I really feel deep down that I’ve lost something precious, and that if I live life like this then all the time in the world wouldn’t be enough for me…

Establishing an Overall Purpose

I know that without an overall purpose to my goals, I could pick almost anything but they might not serve me as well as they could.

Really looking at my life, although I can so easily lose sight of it, I know the only thing that matters is the spiritual. So my overall purpose in my goals is to realize the spiritual within…

Spirituality is very much something internal but I’ve found external things, like freely giving my time to teach others spiritual information, to be immensely beneficial in my inner growth. So I structured my goals into external and internal aspects.

External Goals

I chose 3 goals that demand a certain degree of inner work and sacrificed to achieve. They are goals that can be directly seen in the external world (accomplishing certain projects to help others, etc.)

I can’t veer off track if I’m working my best to achieve these goals because they demand a very serious commitment in spiritual practice.

These goals act sort of like a glue.

Internal Goals

I chose 3 goals that are more or less purely internal…

I reflected on my current spiritual state and what it would take for me to get from where I am to the next level. This also involved assessing my greatest internal obstacles (psychological defects or harmful tendencies) and selecting some to work upon diligently.

These internal goals are the real substance of reaching the spiritual.

Looking Forward to 2010

And so, I look forward to the challenges of the new year. If I stick to my goals, this could be one awesome year!

I hope everyone out there has a peaceful, happy, and productive new year!

This experience was outside my physical body. I must admit that my experience wasn’t as clear as it could have been (due to a lack of self-awareness) but I still feel that I gained a little deeper of an understanding of negativity.

It seems that feeling negative in one moment is actually far more harmful than just in that single moment. Negativity  breeds negativity. And with enough of it, these negative vibes can spread beyond us and actively pollute our surroundings.

Let’s imagine that anger is the colour red – to give an, albeit mediocre, analogy. Then in anger, it’s as though we have taken a bucket of red paint and splashed a little on the walls of our room, maybe some on the table, and on ourselves. We may come back a few minutes (or perhaps a few hours) later and be calm – after we washed ourselves off, but there is still anger in the room (stains on the wall, the table, etc.) because of how we felt before.

It is kind of interesting to see things from that perspective so I wanted to share. For me I guess it’s an added motivation to not let myself get dragged into negative states as I’ll be making it harder for myself in the long run if I do.

This blog is a bit of a reflection on the meaning of Christmas and my personal goals for the season.

I’m not in the sort of position to speak with a divine authority or condemn anyone, but I can’t help but feel a deep uneasiness when I look around and see “Christmas.”

I saw a beautiful quotation the other day, “it’s what’s inside that matters most” – an advertisement  for cell phone applications at Christmas!

I saw a Christmas card, describing Christmas as the time of year offering the world a hope of peace… We’ve had THOUSANDS of Christmas’s and never has the world had peace. Not once.

I know of many yearly gatherings centred about getting together to drink large quantities of alcohol, binge on an excess of food, spend exorbitant amounts of money on meaningless gifts – all given the title of a “Christmas Get-together.”

There is certainly a spiritual significance to this time of year (in terms of radical inner change and a hope for salvation from our inner darkness), but my sad feeling is that a scarce few, at most, have found it.

Going to church and getting together with family, even telling others how much we love them, doesn’t put an end to all the sufferings of life and all this and excess. Arguments still start up, the sufferings of those who are not well off continue, and each day in this season continues as the previous day with little or no lasting change.

At a point yesterday when I wasn’t being poked and prodded by sharp instruments, I had a brief chat with my dentist and he made the comment on how fast life seems to go by and how quickly he turns and looks and sees Christmas time/New Year’s arriving again – almost in a supernatural manner. An interesting observation I’m sure we can all feel when we really look at our lives. They just seem to pass by.

There’s something so wrong about all of this when put into the context of “Christmas”: these “skin-deep” interpretations of the season, the lack of real happiness, the indulgence in pleasures, and the apparent wasting of time.

Why is it like this?

If I look within myself, I see so much selfishness – just the desire to be entertained, to have more, to “call the shots” when with family/friends. So little real love. I know this because I seen it.

I’m not proud of this. It’s a horrible way to live. Yet I know if others actually looked within, they could find the same shocking emptiness and darkness within as well.

And no form of belief, no family gatherings, no gifts or any of this can rectify this bitter reality. We can hide from it by hoping things will be better the next year or after death, or that maybe a new cell phone or set of golf clubs will bring us real happiness… but in all this, hiding seems to be the only thing possible.

So what can be done?

Thank God change is possible, and from the little of it that I’ve seen there is a such thing as real love and peace. But it requires more than just living a normal life or adopting various external traditions of the season.

I see a need to change from the way I am – or perhaps “from what I am” – into a more spiritual person. And so that’s what I’m trying to focus on this special time of year is really changing within: to learn about myself in all circumstances and not allow myself to carry on in the same way. I aim to die inwardly to anger if my family makes me angry, to die to my gluttony and to the countless other negative states.

My goal or hope this Christmas season is nothing external, but I want to find peace within and be a source of peace for others.

Some further insight

For some further reflection, on Christmas I’d highly recommend this talk on the Celebration of Christmas.