Awake While Asleep…

I just wanted to relate a recent experience I had in the world of dreams…

Throughout the night, a couple of others and myself had set the goal of doing a series of astral projection exercises throughout the night with the aim of consciously projecting into the astral plane and asking for a spiritual teaching.

In the hours leading up to my attempts, I made a special effort to be in the present moment, fighting hard against a stream of thoughts and negativity. When the time came to do start my astral projection exercises, I began to concentrate upon my heart beats. My concentration was stronger than I had expected, due to my efforts to be aware. I kept the focus on the beating of my heart as my body began to fall asleep.

Alas, the moment of sleep arrived, but in that last instant I lost my concentration and was off in the world of dreams…

I found myself on a bright summer day, back at my old house in Winnipeg. As I walked up the driveway, I greeted one of my friends from down in California…

Something seemed a little fishy… it’s mid-autumn now. I live in Vancouver. And my friend in California should still be there. Aha! I knew I was dreaming!

I immediately made an extra effort to be clear and in the moment. I stood there, now alone, outside my house on the lawn. And that’s when I decided to ask for a spiritual teaching…

A while later I woke up, feeling refreshed and inspired from my adventures out of my body.

Many Thanks

For us Canadians, this past (long) weekend was Thanksgiving!

In the evening of Thanksgiving Day, I contemplated for a little while, in a meditative fashion, all the things I’m thankful for. Some things are personal so I can’t share, but I wanted to share a few points – some which one would expect, and some which may sound a little surprising at first.

I am thankful for…

A wonderful upbringing: My parents were always very loving and supportive. I got to try all sorts of hobbies, go on inspiring trips, and really have an awesome home-life.

All the painful parts of my life: Yes! I’m actually grateful for them. Although painful times aren’t nice to go through, there’s a lot that can be learned from them. I may have been picked on in school, but it showed me how bad it is to hurt others. I may have had food poisoning (likely more than once…), but I learned to better appreciate the health of my body. I may have had a few broken bones, but lessons were learned – often lessons teaching me to be more alert and to not put myself in harm’s way.

For finding the Gnostic teachings with The Gnostic Movement: All my life I had been searching for something more to life than what I could see. All my life I had been seeking understanding, and a means to overcome the awful thoughts and feelings I sometimes had to go through. Thanks to lots of guidance through the events of my life, I eventually found free spiritual teachings that really gave me the means to change in a deep way and experience wonders beyond the imagination.

For all the precious teachings in every moment: If I’m mindful and clear, I can’t help but be astounded at the teachings given in every moment. Every time someone snaps at me without cause, I’m burdened by too much work, I get an opportunity to speak with a colleague or supervisor, or anything at all, I can learn so much about myself by looking within.

For circumstances beyond what I feel I honestly deserve: Amazing and genuine friends, a great family, the occasion to pursue higher education, etc. So much to be grateful for.

For help for things to turn out okay: Somehow, even when things are not so good (facing financial difficulties, etc.), by just having faith and doing my best to address the situations (sometimes very hard to do), things have generally turned out okay – sometimes very near the critical hour.

The list could really go on forever…

The Speed of Life

Time is a curious thing. I’ve felt a lot of things lately in regards to time. A lot of these feelings have come through recent events I’ve gone through. I’ll relate my feelings through a couple of short stories/anecdotes.

1. Over the summer I was doing some theory work in a physics research institute. It’s not the job that’s so important here, but the passage of time. Somehow time seemed to fly by. I remember wishing one of the secretaries a good weekend one Friday afternoon as I left… it seemed as though I blinked… and the next Friday had arrived and she was wishing me a good weekend. Overall the whole summer seemed to fly by: despite all the work I did there, my outings on the weekends, etc., it all vanished into nothingness.

It’s worth reflecting on this, I believe. What would have made that time more valuable?

And… if a summer can go by like this, just doing “ordinary things” like work, hanging out with friends, etc., can a whole lifetime not go by the same way? What needs to be done to make the most out of life?

2. I recently had to go through an agonizing process of applying for research funding, combined with an equally agonizing amount of work outside of my researching and schooling. Night after night I was up late. Day after day I went from meeting to meeting, running errand after errand, sending email after email, catching bus after bus. And things just seemed to get more stressful and difficult…

As part of the funding applications, I needed a document from someone and they agreed to help about a week before the deadline. Yet as the deadline approached, we seemed to have lost contact – no phone – no email – not in the office. Time relentlessly progressed…

The deadline passed and I didn’t get that document. But through a miraculous turn of events, there was an extension by 24 hours, and I wound up receiving the document 2.5 hours before the new deadline.

Many other issues came  up – computer problems, online applications deleting all my work, etc.

Seeing these states of anger, anxiety, despair, within myself was a wonderful gift,  however. Amidst these circumstances, I was really fighting a battle against myself: I strove to overcome all the negativity that was arising within me. Things were bad, yes, but all this suffering in time came to an end. And within all of it – in every second of it – there was something precious for me to learn.

There were certain points of this busy time when I had won some battles against my inner darkness and I really felt at peace – completely detached from all of the events – and it felt as though time did not exist…

Remembering Dreams

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been intrigued by my dreams: their mysterious nature, and how some seem to be saying something very meaningful. I’ve had recurring dreams, flying dreams, scary dreams, symbolic dreams – so many different types.

I wanted to write briefly about one of the most exciting times in my life. It wasn’t exciting because of what was happening to me externally – just school, work, and the usual. It was exciting because I began to explore a whole other world: the world of my dreams.

One morning after waking up, I couldn’t remember any dreams (this happens to a lot of us). But I began chanting the mantra Raom Gaom – a mantra that I had been taught to remember dreams. I lay there, deeply relaxed, focusing solely upon the mantra. I kept chanting it for about 10 minutes straight and then suddenly I was bombarded with memories of dreams. I could scarcely believe how many dreams I could remember!

I remembered many meaningful dreams. It was a terrific experience. Over the next few days, I continued with this mantra in the morning with the same results. Through my dreams I was learning a lot about myself, as I could intuitively sense their meaning. Each morning I was going deeper and deeper into my psyche and all the events of my life, by studying my dreams.

Really I can barely put into words what an amazing time it was. And ever since then, I have tried to incorporate dream recall as part of my life.

My “First” Out-of-Body Experience

The quotes are in the title for a reason… what I’m writing about here wasn’t really my first OBE. I’d had several before, but it was the first time I was out of my body that I actually knew what was happening to me, and that I’d found a group of people who I could talk to about my experiences.

Even before I knew what OBEs were I began having related experiences spontaneously around the age of 12. This, among other things, led me a few years later (when I was 17) to an online spiritual community with free courses on astral travel techniques, methods of inner exploration, and other mystical practices.

It was a few years ago now and I can barely recall – I was either just getting ready to take the astral projection course, or I was in the first week of it. But I read on the forums about how powerful the mind can be when we really focus on something. I was pretty eager to try that out…

So when I was going to bed, I repeated to myself mentally, “I am going to have a conscious out-of-body experience tonight.” Over and over and over again. Again and again and again. I fell asleep.

I coasted in the air like a leaf in the wind

But a short while later I awoke. I was lying in bed but felt different…

I felt a little bit of tingling all over my body.

Then I felt as though I had no weight whatsoever and I felt myself lifting up, passing through my bedsheets, hovering in the air (still horizontal). And I could see! My room seemed bright – like the lights were on. I could see my ceiling above me and my bureau out of the corner of my eye.

Without any control of my own, I floated around my room like a leaf in the wind, seeing the posters on my wall, my TV, and other objects. Everything was so clear and vivid. The experience quickly ended when I heard a cry – like that of an animal.

The next instant I was just lying in bed, under the covers. It was an exhilarating experience and I was so full of excitement I don’t think I slept much the rest of the night.

I’ve had other experiences since then, doing more interesting things than visiting my room. Maybe I’ll write about some other astral travel stories later.

Us and Them

Social environment full of learning possibilities

This week I’ve really been appreciating how precious our time with others is – not only the people we like to be with, but with everyone. Social environments are part of the ’school of life’ and have a lot to offer in regards to spirituality (as does time alone). When I say ’spirituality’ here, I’m referring to the overall process of self-discovery, exploring life, overcoming selfish or negative states, and finding peace.

Different psychological states within

It’s interesting how in a practical sense I can see myself as a different person, depending on who I’m dealing with. Speaking with colleagues I might be more jovial or talkative than when I’m being driven to the airport in a taxi. When with my supervisors feelings of self-satisfaction or defensiveness seem to be highlighted more… oh, the joys of workplace psychology!

And the other day when I had to buy some bread – it was about the only thing I needed to get – a thought pertaining to social anxiety crossed my mind, “people are going to think I’m weird if I just get bread.” Somehow the mere fact that people were around allowed a certain aspect of my psyche to come forth…

But this is extremely valuable. By trying to be mindful I see these various changes in myself. I can understand them and not go along with their negativity (not get sucked into anger when someone is snippy with me, for example). I’ve found this sort of seeing and understanding to be really helpful in acquiring more peace and happiness.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” - Jesus, The Gospel of Thomas

I also find attachment and indifference to be worth looking into. Do I get attached to people? If so, who (what part of my psyche) is behind that attachment. Or do I just not care at all about others? What’s behind that lack of caring? The answers I’ve found have been shocking.

Interacting with others reflects what is within

Perhaps I like someone because I think that they think I’m a good person… that’s not very spiritual!

Maybe I dislike someone because they seem very outspoken… but deep down I’m jealous that I don’t speak out like them. And the reason I don’t is that I’m too proud to speak out lest I reveal my arrogance publicly.

“In life there are many kinds of relationships of one kind or another. This is a school in which everyone comes to learn, either from the hard knocks of life, or through conscious study.” – Belzebuub

So much to learn in every moment…

Reflections on Thought

These last few days I’ve really been looking into thinking, trying to figure it out. Given how scientists estimate we have some 80 000 thoughts a day, this seems rather worthwhile!

What I’m trying to get is a deeper understanding of the nature of thought, how to use thought, and the experience of life without thinking. Much of this is hard to  put into words, but I wanted to at least share my motivations and some simple observations.

A troubled mind

Thoughts have so much power over how we experience life. Speaking personally, I could be feeling quite at peace but suddenly remember a big event the next day and be filled with anxiety: butterflies in the stomach, etc. Then the anxiety itself could provoke fearful thoughts and so on…

All experience is preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind. Speak or act with a corrupted mind, and suffering follows as the wagon wheel follows the hoof of the ox. – Buddha

There are so many different sorts of thoughts: daydreams, conversations, songs in our head, or even thoughts like “the door is closed” or “this situation is so unfair, why am I treated this way?”

They continuously crop up, like raindrops in a torrential downpour, and my impression is that they usually aren’t noticed. As I slip into different thoughts, I still have this overall feeling that “I” am thinking/reasoning/interpreting, etc. Or in other cases, fantasies like what it would be like to win the Nobel Prize are enjoyable, so I sometimes indulge in those sorts of thoughts.

Beauty that can only be perceived outside of the mind

I obviously need to think. At work, I need to be able to program stuff at a computer, do calculations, etc. But somehow this more focused thinking feels more wholesome, like I’m actually in control of my mind instead of my thoughts controlling me.

Most of my life was spent continuously in thought (and it still is), but in recent years I’ve come to see that there’s a better way to live. Being stuck in my mind, with my mind chattering away, is being asleep in some senses: asleep and unaware of the world around me. And what’s more, it seems that the greatest feelings of being alive: feelings of peace and clarity, come about primarily when I’m outside of my mind.

Let us work and rest happily abandoning ourselves to the course of life. Let us exhaust the turbid and rotten water of habitual thinking and in the emptiness will flow Gnosis and with it the happiness of living. – Samael Aun Weor

Some food for thought…

Mike